My Brain is on Fire

I have a blog....

2009-01-27T22:42:12Z

I have a blog, so nice I said it twice(see subject.)

http://fingersmalloy.blogspot.com/

It may just be God's gift to the planet........

But I won't try and over sell it.

The hour is finally at hand...

2008-03-15T05:02:08Z

Here is the deal. As most of you may know from my MySpace background and constant picture changes referring to many former Vegas players, and to my many recent mentions of Sin City, I am heading to Las Vegas on Sunday.

For those that don’t know, I am leaving in the morning with my buddy Hammam (Snakes). We are meeting my cousin Tom(Duke), his buddy Brian, and his other buddy Lisa. I have met both Brian and Lisa, this is going to be a fun group....

We are going to stay at the MGM Grand. This is a first for me. The only strip hotel I have ever stayed at is Harrah’s (pinko commie bastards). I love downtown, kinda hate the strip. I am there to drink and gamble, not to stare at dancing fountains and homophobic white bengal tigers. Downtown is dirty, old, historic, and it has better gambling. I love it there. I am the minority with that opinion, so strip here we come....

But I HATE flying. I hate it hate it hate it... I hate having my ears pop every 3 minutes. I hate thinking about the nut job in a corn field with a surface to air missile waiting to strike. I hate that they cut you off after 8 Jack and cokes (so I hear). ; )

Our flight leaves at 7:00 AM. Man am I glad I like screwdrivers. A guy has to get his vitamin C. The vacation starts tomorrow night. I am crashing at the Dorch and maybe hanging around with some of the gang. We keep trying to throw a BBQ for Spats but the weather sucks ass.

Anyway not to be morbid, but if something happens on my flight you guys all know how I feel about you…..

Wish me luck, daddy needs a new pair of shoes…….

It's Over

2008-02-19T11:27:39Z

Well I ended the cleanse yesterday evening. My tongue was not 100 % pink but I had enough. I drank some orange juice and had some tortilla chips.

When I got back from God class I had some more juice and a slice of bread.

The final numbers after 12 days.

Starting weight 244 lbs.

Finishing weight 231 lbs.

I bought a bunch of groceries from the hippie organic store over the weekend.

Good times........

Day 10

2008-02-18T03:42:23Z

I have not made a post the last couple of days because there was not much to report. This might be the last day of the cleanse. My tongue is still about half white, so I will make up my mind tomorrow morning whether I will continue. I have lost a total of 11 pounds during the cleanse.

Sophia did not have chicken pox. It ended up being a weird rash that went away. We went to the daddy-daughter dance on friday. It was such a good time, she loved it. I have pictures on myspace if anyone is curious.

Goodnight Sunday...

Day 7

2008-02-15T03:36:06Z

I am coming up to the home stretch. I feel great. I lost another pound.

That's all.....

Day 6

2008-02-14T03:57:58Z

Everything is great. My energy is through the roof. My skin is clear. This has been worth it. I only have four more days but I may extend it a little bit longer.

They offered me a buyout today at work. I think I am going to take it. I am looking forward to moving on with my life and getting out of the auto industry. I don't want to leave Indianapolis, which is what I will have to do if I stay with the company.
I have a month and a half to make a final decision.

Goodnight wednesday....

Day 5

2008-02-13T03:16:16Z

I had quite a day today. I overslept, so I decided that I was sick and stayed home.

As far as the fast goes it is full steam ahead. I lost another pound. My tongue is white, which is very strange. I can stop the fast when my tongue turns pink again.

So Shiv and I went to 2 antique stores today. It was a blast. We came up with 2 or 3 new Dorch Gang sayings which will be used at a later date. There was a crazy old guy at one of the stores and he wished us a Merry Christmas, nice guy........

There was a 5 foot long indy car that was made almost entirely of lite brite. It said on the price tag that it was one of a kind. As if anyone would think that there are 10000 lite brite indy cars floating around town. Or maybe there are???

Shiv took me to Arlington. I have never been there before. It was nice, although it could use some crazy old men wishing people a Merry Christmas in mid february.

My father in-law is leaving the hospital and going home tomorrow. It has been a long road so far and there will be more bumps along the way. The wife will not be home until thursday, so bachelorhood continues!!

good times

2008-02-12T11:45:45Z

Blowing off work and sleeping in is fun.........

Day 4

2008-02-12T04:24:50Z

Well today started out a little shaky. I felt like crap. I only got 3 hours sleep last night. I left work early and went home to take a long nap. After the nap I felt fantastic. I got up, finished my homework and went to class. I lost another half a pound.

I had big plans Friday to take Sophia to a daddy-daughter dance at the YMCA. But the wife called me from Michigan tonight to tell me Sophia has chicken pox. She is going to be devastated that we are not going to be able to go to the dance. We have been talking about it for 3 weeks.

The wife and daughter got stuck up in Michigan because of the storm. They are going to wait it out and make the trip back to Indy on Wednesday. That means two more days of bachelor living...

Day 3

2008-02-11T04:35:31Z

Today was the hardest day so far. I have plenty of junk food in the house but I was strong and stuck with the fast. I did not do any homework today. I stayed in bed half of the day and then finally got up and went to the gym.
I spent the day after the gym watching television.....

I am down about 5 pounds since I started this on Friday. I have a lot of homework to do for tomorrow night.

Day 2

2008-02-10T03:39:06Z

Weird day today. I worked with my study group in the morning. Then I went to the gym and did two miles on the treadmill. I got home and did the salt water cleanse, good times. I worked on my Buick on and off for two hours. I decided to get some sleep as I had plans later in the evening. So far I have lost 4.5 pounds.

Woke up, took a shower, plans fell through. I wish I would have just gone to the casino instead of staying home.

Day 1

2008-02-09T05:37:51Z

So far, so good. I have not had any food for almost 36 hours now and I am not hungry. The lemonade takes away any feelings of hunger. I have tons of energy. The only beef I have so far is that I am not thinking clearly. I told my boss to kiss my ass. I put my foot in my mouth on at least 3 other occasions. That part sucks.

I met Spats, Shiv and Svet at pub in Carmel. They had dinner, I had water. I had no problem with that. I don't want to eat. I have no urge to eat.

I am going to do the salt water cleanse tomorrow. I won't get graphic but if I have any issues with going to the bathroom I will now refer to it as "working on my Buick". That just sounds better than explosive diarrhea......

Well I now must drink the rest of my tea and retire......

My 10 Day Fast

2008-02-07T14:57:46Z

So here is the deal. I will try to post an entry every day for the next two weeks to chronicle the "Master Cleanse" fast that I will start tomorrow. My cousin(Tom) is going to do it with me. He did it a year ago and raves about it.

This is what I have to do. Every night I have to drink 8 ounces of laxative tea. In the morning I either have to drink another glass of tea or do what is referred to as "salt water bathing". That requires me to drink 32 ounces of water mixed with 2 teaspoons of sea salt. Anyway, it is supposed to clean you out.

During the day I am to drink lemonade. The lemonade consists of lemons(duh),organic grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper. The pepper and acid from the lemon breaks up the mucus in the body, the syrup provides minerals and vitamins. There will be no food for at least 10 days.

This in theory will flush all of the toxins out of my body. I am not really doing this to lose weight, although it is a nice side effect. Tom said that after it was over he felt more healthy and did not want to eat as much junk food. I have lost some weight and I want to continue to do so, but I want to eat healthier. I hope to have the urge to be healthier after the fast.

So be warned, some of my posts over the next 2 weeks may be disturbing because;

A) It will not be fun to be in the bathroom for a couple of hours a day.
B) Not eating fried fat with a fat chaser in 10 days makes Fingers crazy....
C) I am not much of a tea drinker.
D) Dude, sea salt????

I was just going to do this and not mention it to any of you. However, I really didn't want to have to explain why I am not eating or drinking beer while I am out and about. I have researched this heavily, so there is no need to write me and tell me how I will die. It is only 10 days. Just think of me for the next two weeks as your Gandhi.......

Peace

It's official.....

2008-02-06T16:58:55Z

It’s Official.....

After much talk the Vegas trip is now booked!!

The group will include me, Hammam, Duke, Lisa M., and Brian W. A good time will be had by all. Four days and three nights in Sin City, one of those days being St. Patrick's Day. It is going to be ugly.......

The wife and daughter are probably leaving this weekend to go up to Michigan. I have a shit ton of homework to do.

I just realized that this is boring and I should stop typing now....

I need an escape.

2008-01-17T11:50:23Z

I am going to Vegas. I need to go to Vegas. I am going to Vegas, probably in March, on St. Patrick's day. I will probably be in Vegas on St. Patrick's Day. Am I rambling? My cousin is going with me, and so is Snakes. It's going to be a good group. VEGAS VEGAS VEGAS VEGAS VEGAS..............

I have been without the wife and kid all week. I didn't go to work on Tuesday. For the past four days I have been sitting around in my boxers eating pizza...

Good times.

Home again

2008-01-08T00:08:29Z

I'm back in Indy. I am at God class. I am bored. I need a beer. I need several beers, in my life, really soon.....

I'm thirsty.......

Thank Spats for this

2007-11-19T13:56:21Z

How much have YOU changed?

---------15 years ago------------
1.) How old were you? 20
2.) Where did you go to school? Delta College
3.) Where did you work? Keyes Pool and Patio
4.) Where did you live? With my parents in Saginaw,Michigan.
5.) Where did you hang out? At my friend Steve’s apartment and at Delta.
6.) Who was your best friend? Steve Len, Jeff Klemish
7.) Did you wear glasses? Nope
8.) What car did you drive? A Chevy S-10 truck
9.) Had you been to a real party? Yes, but I was incredibly lame
10.) Had you had your heart broken? I thought so at the time.

--------10 years ago----------
1.) How old were you? 25
2.) Where did you go to school?: Saginaw Valley State University
3.) Where did you work? Steamers Pub
4.) Where did you live?: In a house on Elmview Court, still in the ‘Naw
5.) Where did you hang out?: My house was party central. Also hung out at Steamers.
6.) Did you wear glasses?: Nope
7.) Who was your best friend?: Trish, Kam, Krista,Kat, Tessie,Steve, A.J., Nick and Brian (the pre-dorch gang).
8.) How many tattoos did you have?: 0
9.) How many piercings did you have?: 0
10.) What car did you drive?: A bitchin Geo Storm.
11.) Had you been to a real party?: A few too many
12.) Had you had your heart broken?: Nope

---------5 Years ago-----------
1.) How old were you?: 30
2.) Where did you go to school? Was not in school
3.) Where did you work?: Delphi Automotive Systems, Anderson, Indiana
4.) Where did you live?: Noblesville Indiana, in a house I built from scratch(not really).
5.) Where did you hang out? At home, Nikki Blaine’s.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Nope
7.) Who was your best friend?: The wife, A.J., Trevor, Tracy.
8.) How many tattoos did you have?: 0
9.) How many piercings?: 0
10.) What car did you drive?: A Red Ford Mustang
11.) Had your heart broken?: Nope
12.) Been to a real party?: Um, I was 30 years old.
13.) Were you Single/Taken/Married/ Divorced? Happily married.

------------2 years ago--------------
1.) How old were you?: 33
2.) Where did you go to school?: IUPUI
3.) Where did you work?: Indianapolis Metal Center, General Motors
4.) Where did you live?: Still in Noblesville
5.) Where did you hang out?: The Dorch, Claddagh Irish Pub.
6.) Did you wear glasses?: Nope
7.) Who were your best friends?: A.J., Tracy, Trevor, Lisa, Jenny
8.) How many tattoos did you have?: 1, a Lion
9.) How many piercings did you have? 0
10.) What car did you drive?: A Chevy Aveo
11.) Had your heart broken?: Not Possible
12.) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?: Married

-----------------Today---------------
1.) How old are you?: 35
2.) Where do you go to school?: Indiana Wesleyan University
3.) Where do you work?: GM
4.) Where do you live?: Noblesville
5.) Do you wear glasses?: Um, still no.
6.) Where do you hang out?: The DORCH!!! Chatham Tap.
7. Who are your best friends? The Dorch gang( I love them all), Kat and Steve.
8.) Do you talk to your old friends?: Not as often as I should
9.) How many piercings do you have?: 0, had one in my ear but it got angry and had to go.
10.) How many tattoos?: 2, got “Sophia” on my arm
11.) What kind of car do you have?: A GMC truck
12.) Has your heart been broken?: What does that mean?
13.) Are you Single/Taken/Married/Divorce?: Married

I AM Lieutenant Laundry

2007-11-13T17:53:54Z

So, the wife took the daughter up to Michigan for a few days. I have been alone since Saturday. So how have I been living it up these last few days??? I am an animal; so far I have done the following.

1) Saturday I took a joyride on my motorcycle. Shiv came along for kicks. We went to the Protestant Pub and played with Spats, Svet, Quaker the Baby Stealer, and Kacey. They ordered some sort of dessert, for this blog's sake I will call it apple kaboom. Between the 5 skirts, I will say that the apple kaboom lasted 4.2 seconds. They set some sort of land speed record for downing pastry. Thankfully, no one lost a finger.

2) After the carnage at the Protestant Pub, Snakes, Needles (the artist formerly known as Frankie the Fist), Cy, Jeremy, Shiv and I arrived at Nippers. It was karaoke night. Here is my problem with karaoke night. When did it become a state law that at some point in the night a bunch of drunken chicks find it necessary to get up and sing "Love shack"? It ALWAYS happens. What makes matters worse is that half of them are giggling the whole time, you know, like they just can't get over how silly they are being. Here's what's silly ladies, the Rachel from "Friends" hair cuts you have. Yes we all loved that show (not really), but the show has been off the air now for 5 years. Just because the show is still on TV, it does not mean it is currently in production. Much like you ladies, it is called a re-run.

Oh here is another favorite of mine, two white guys, in Lilly White Carmel Indiana, doing hip-hop Karaoke. Yes you guys are bad ass. Listen we all really love 50 Cent (not really). Since many of us will never get to see fity live, the second best thing is seeing 2 jerk offs at a bar performing one of his "classics". I would much rather hear the chick that can't carry a tune sing "Black Velvet". Why does that song get picked every time? I mean EVERY TIME??? Does anyone outside of the chick that belted out that Terd Ferguson actually like that song???? This just in, I hate people.

3) Sunday and Monday (here is where I really started getting wild), I did a total of 11 loads of laundry. I still have another 6-8 left to do. We had no clean clothes in the house. I am Lieutenant Laundry, I can not be stopped.

Shoot Me!!!!

Been a weird 2 weeks

2007-10-08T14:14:47Z

This is going to be long so deal or move on.

All of the following has happened in the last 2 weeks:

1) My bike broke down again, the clutch cable snapped. It cost me 70 bucks to get it home.

2) My friend Kat came to Indy to visit me and met the gang, good times :)

3) At work, we went out on strike (not my choice but they didn't ask me).

4) After 2 days the strike ended.

5) I bought 4 new tires for my car and put it up for sale.

6) I found out that they are going to close my plant. I don't want to move and just thinking of that makes me die inside and throw up in my mouth a little...

7) I decided to go to grad school (see number 6 for the reason why).

8) I fixed my bike.

9) Went to Cy's party. A good time was had by all.

10) I talked Kat into starting a myspace page (which is very strange to me because of my belief that myspace is evil).

11) I nailed down plans to visit my cousin Tom in Detroit the third weekend in October for beer and football.

12) I am pretty sure I nailed down plans to visit my buddy Steve in Minneapolis the third weekend of November (maybe I can talk Andy into meeting up for a beer and cheesy karaoke night)?????

13) The wife got a temporary job. It will dramatically cut into my social life.

14) I blew out a tire on the way to Michigan on I-69. I owned said tire for 8 days before it blew. I had to spend the night in Coldwater MI. After arguing with Tire Barn on the phone over them not wanting to back up their crap tire that lasted 8 days, I purchased a new tire.

15) The wife spilled an entire cup of coffee all over the interior of the car I am trying to sell.

16) We took Sophia to the Saginaw County Fair to ride the rides. Carnies scare me, the have funky hair and tattoos and smoke (oops,wait,never mind).

17) I took Sophia over for a nice visit with my parents.

18) I got home late last night to find cat puke all over the house. Fuck cats in the ear.....

I could go on but I have nothing funny to say in this thing and I have gone on long enough.

To a few of my friends:

Cy, thanks again for inviting me to the party, I had fun.

Kat, I miss you and I really wish you lived closer so I could see you more.

Andy, stay strong. I know it sucks to try and quit smoking, let's meet for beer in a month??

Frankie, let snakes get a bike ;)

Shiv, I miss you.

Spats, thanks for the hair, the comic relief, and allowing me to pop in and drink a beer to forget all the stressful shit for a few hours. You are the best.

k, enough sap....

Indianapolis, I hardly knew ye

2007-10-01T11:18:37Z

I got news this morning that GM is going to close my plant. Unless there is a miracle, I will need to move. I don't know where, I don't know when. Fuck GM in the ear...

My New Ride

2007-08-30T12:30:01Z

Well the day finally arrived. It was Tuesday, the day I got to ride my motorcycle. It was such a rush. At first it was a buzz kill because it took me about 20 attempts before it finally started. This was probably my fault. It takes a while to learn the art of taking off from a dead start without the bike stalling.

I rode to the BMV, then I went for a joyride that included a stop at the Dorch. It took me an hour and a half to get there. I got the best gift ever from Frankie and Snakes. They are the bestest. I then rode home, where I got my first "uncomfortable" moment on the bike.

I was trying to go straight across highway 37 but I got caught up in construction and had to turn onto the highway. To keep up with traffic, I had to go over 60 m.p.h. The only thing going through my head was "holy shit I am going 60 on my bike, I just learned how to ride this thing in a parking lot going 20 m.p.h. 3 months ago. It was awesome and I made it to the grocery store in one piece. What a day :)

Kind of interesting

2007-08-15T16:21:29Z

Date: Aug 14, 2007 11:05 AM
Subject: CHINESE HOROSCOPE
Body: CHINESE HOROSCOPE (Freakishly Correct)
DO NOT CHEAT
OR IT WON'T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN..T.

TAKE 3 MINUTES
TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT.

NO CHEATING!!!!

THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.

DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.

IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY

1st. Get PEN and PAPER

2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW

3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.

4th SCROLL DOWN

ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON..T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.

1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.

2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2,

WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.

3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7,

WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. SAME SEX IF GAY

CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT

4. WRITE ANYONES NAME

(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5, & 6.

5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11

6. Finally,

MAKE A WISH

ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE

KEY TO THE GAME

1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU is found in

SPACE 2

2. THE PERSON IN SPACE

3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE

3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in

SPACE 7

.

4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in

SPACE 4

5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO

KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.

6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR

LUCKY STAR

7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE

PERSON IN NUMBER 3

8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE

PERSON IN 7

9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT

YOUR MIND

10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU

FEEL ABOUT LIFE

11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR

LUCKY NUMBER

repost this
WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.

IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE.

* REPOST WITH
CHINESE HOROSCOPE (Freakishly Correct)
DO NOT CHEAT
OR IT WON'T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN

2 journals

2007-08-10T12:57:38Z

I am posting both on myspace and on LJ. The myspace is more for my family and some of my friends but I won't get too personal on that blog. However, I am going to keep writing on LJ because it isn't evil like myspace(corporate bastards). Plus I want to be able to vent without some people seeing what I am bitching about :)

Trying hard to write comedy again, it isn't easy. I need to have 25 minutes of material and lose 15 pounds by October. That is my goal and I am sticking to it.

I need to be rich

2007-08-01T12:17:55Z

While golfing at a resort over the weekend, I came to the realization that I need to be rich at some point in my life, preferably now. There were several homes worth at least half a million dollars overlooking the beautiful golf courses I played. I want one of them. Also, I could get use to going away on vacations every week or so. I think with 20 million in the bank I could make that happen. What will get me there? A book, comedy, Safe-wear?

Why won't Friday get here????

2007-07-26T04:17:55Z

This week is dragging. I leave for my golf/casino trip to Northern Michigan early Friday morning. In the process of waiting I have bought clubs, balls, shoes, and a new glove. Thank God for my new Visa card.

I go to work tomorrow and then I need to come home and tie up some loose ends. Then it is off to say goodbye to Shiv :(

I need sleep now.

Goodnight Wednesday